Month / January 2019

by whyididntwritetoday

Do you sound like yourself?

From time to time, those who I know in real life happen to stumble across some of my writing.

Surprisingly the most common thing I hear isn’t that ‘your writing is rubbish’ – it’s actually ‘this sounds like you – you write exactly like you talk’.

I’m happy with that.

It makes my writing genuine, and for the reader it feels as if I’m talking directly to them.

Which is really important for holding someone’s attention.

Sadly, a lot of people don’t write as they’d talk. Even through private Whatsapp messages or emails.

Friends who I’ve known for years and seen in numerous stages of undress and drunkenness write to me as if they’re my solicitor.

Why?

And no, it’s not because they’re usually filing lawsuits against me…

It seems to me that a lot of us completely lose our voice and our character when we’re on the other end of a screen, fingers tapping over a keyboard. We feel as if nothing has changed since the 18th century – so our writing has to sound like we’re using a quill and parchment.

Which is sad, because all our voices are unique. The only thing that should ever change is our tone, depending on what the conversation is about and who we’re talking to.

For example, you’d talk differently to your best friend than you would the kindly old dear next door. I hope…

Next time you’re writing something – be it an email or a ‘which pub and what time?‘ text – write it exactly how you’d say it aloud.

What changes?

by whyididntwritetoday

Rod’s Trousers

Some months ago I read Rod Stewart’s autobiography. Which, as a side note, I really enjoyed.

From the book I learnt many things, and one of them was that, when worn correctly,  tartan trousers can actually look all right.

Fast forward to Boxing Day and I spot a pair in the sale for £10. Stocks were low but, fate intervened and one of the last remaining pairs was in my size.

So I bought them.

And, feeling somewhat daring, I wore them to work last Friday. Reception was good.

Oh… and no, I didn’t use my best Rod Stewart impression when I asked people what they thought:

“Do ya think I’m sexy??”

Anyway, as I walked home I passed a pub and a drunken patron lumbered i front of me. Luckily I had the dexterity necessary to navigate my around him but, due to his high levels of intoxication, he seemingly took offence to me being on the pavement at the same time as him.

A terrible crime, I know.

“Nice trousers” he bellowed, “you off to play a fuckin’ gig or something?”

With that he kind of jiggled and danced on the spot in the limp way that uber-drunk people often do – I can only surmise that, from somewhere far above, an invisible puppeteer was having a hand spasm while trying to control him.

“Yep,” I smiled, “I’m headlining”

This was met with a grunt of disapproval. He clearly wanted me to bite. Wanted a reaction. I could see in his eyes that he was gearing up for some Friday night confrontation.

But I walked on.

Perspective is an important tool. I could have looked at his comment two ways:

A) How dare he insult my trousers!

B) He said I looked like a rock star… which, for many 28 year old guys, is a pretty desirable thing to be/look.

I took it as the latter.

Perspective is a powerful weapon to have in your day-to-day arsenal. It’s a mindset.

When presented with a comment or a piece of information look at it from both ways before deciding how you should feel about it.

I’ll be wearing those trousers again.

by whyididntwritetoday

Have you ever had an opinion on something?

In the last four weeks, I bet you’ve done at least one of these four things:

– Visited a restaurant
– Visited a tourist attraction
– Watched a film/TV series
– Read a book

(Unless you’ve been finding out what it would be like to live in a nuclear fallout shelter I hope I’m right.)

Okay, now answer this… in the last four weeks have you ever wanted to write but not found the time nor the inspiration?

If you’re reading this blog, I’ll hedge my bets that your answer is ‘yes’.

My apologies if you just said ‘yes’ aloud for no reason in a room full of people. Although maybe your fault for reading a blog at work…

A few years ago, before I started this website, I would frequently do all of the four things above and would also find myself wanting to write, but lacking the inspiration or ‘the time’.

Take one glance at a site like Twitter or the comments page on a newspaper’s website and you’ll be forcibly reminded of the fact that we all have an opinion. And everyone likes to share their opinion when they get the chance.

Just like everyone else, whenever I visit a museum, watch a film, read a book or go out for a meal I have an opinion on what I’ve just experienced.

So I decided to write about it.

Trip Advisor, Goodreads, Imdb, etc. There are so many platforms out there where your reviews can actually help people, as well as give you a chance to flex some words out onto a page.

I found myself writing a metric shit ton of reviews. Trying to make them as funny, interesting and entertaining as possible.

I found that the more I wrote, the more I wanted to write.

It brought back my creativity.

It brought back my inspiration.

And, in doing so, I realised that I actually did have time to write. More time that I knew. If I could find time in my day to write a 300 word review, I had time to write whatever I wanted to.

Try it. It’s the springboard that helped get me focused and writing again.

by whyididntwritetoday

A Vampire on the London Underground

It all started with an early evening trip on the tube.

I was bleary-eyed from a long day and the overhead lights seemed a touch brighter than usual.

My temples were slowly starting to pulsate, hinting at the headache that was to come.

Suddenly my attention was snapped away from feeling sorry for myself…

… there was something of interest on the seat next to me.

And no, it wasn’t a copy of the Metro, City AM or the Evening Standard.

It was a battered, creased and yellowed copy of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

After a quick check to see if it belonged to anyone I snapped it up and read the first page.

Fast forward a couple days and I’m three quarters of the way through.

Even though it was written many moons ago it still grabbed me and kept me up until the wee hours reading… as I’m sure it has done for many readers well before my time.

You could stop almost anyone in the street and ask them about Dracula. I bet they could roughly recite the plot.

But what they maybe couldn’t tell you is what actually happens, and how it unfolds.

Told in snippets of journal entries, diary entries and newspaper extracts it’s a truly gripping tale.

That’s why it’s a classic.

And that’s also why, over 100 years later in a world of much shorter attention spans, it still holds up.

When you set down to write do you think of it as a future classic or do you just set down to write without a thought of a glorious future?

If you’re interested in what makes a classic piece of work a classic piece of work, this book by Ryan Holiday is a decent read.

by whyididntwritetoday

The 2 Minute Rule

I’m sorry I’ve not written for a while.

It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve been busy, life moved fast and I nearly forgot about you.

But here I am… back.

Tonight I’m going to share a tip that’s made my life a bit easier.

Time management is tricky.

Why?

Because it doesn’t technically exist.

No one alive can actually manage time (apart from the speaking clock) – but we can all manage ourselves AROUND time.

One of the things I hate the most is when loads of little things (e.g cleaning, life admin) all build up and you have to spend a big chunk of your precious free time sorting them out.

So I follow this magic rule… if something takes less than 2 minutes (and if I’m not insanely busy) I’ll do it there and then.

Washing up a glass, hanging up a jacket, updating a card for Netflix, sending a boring email… BAM.

I don’t let ’em build up.

I rattle them off like a human task-smashing machine gun and then when leisure time comes a-knockin’ I can fully enjoy it with no menial tasks circling round my head.

It sounds simple. Too simple. But so many people I know and speak to let things build up because they can’t be arsed and it ends up being a vicious circle that eats away their time.

Like an invisible Pacman slowly chomping away hours and hours of their lives.

Give it a go and see if I’m onto something here…

P.S bonus hack… when you’re parking your car just pull into the first decent (and vacant!) space you can see. Life is too precious to waste circling round and round a square of tarmac hoping to find ‘the perfect spot’.